3 Simple Things That Accelerate Self-Love

If you loved yourself more you would be…

… happier
… find love
… make more money
… be thinner
… suffer less
… have more pelvic power

Is self-love the elixir of happiness?

These days the word self-love is thrown around like confetti on New Year's Eve. The other day I was at a dinner party with friends, and Susan one of my bestie’s was having a complete meltdown. Her partner of 10 years left her for another woman. She kept telling us all the sordid details in between gulps of red wine “When he left I begged him to stay even though I knew he had someone else.” “Steve please don’t leave me. What will I do?”

Several hours later when the wine hit her, she was slurring her words “Why did I do that?” “Why did I beg him to stay. Why? I feel so humiliated” Then she dropped the L bomb…

…”If only I loved myself more, I would be happier, and Steve would still be around.”

When did self-love become a reason; the because; the end of line…

I took Susan home, and throughout the entire uber ride she kept sobbing this mantra “I just need to love myself more,” and “This happened because I didn’t love myself.”…

…So Susan got me thinking.

• How do we love ourselves more? Are there certain principles or laws that one must follow to fall more deeply in love with oneself.

• Is Self-love is the glue that will keep us intact, happy and robust. I discovered that loving one's self is not a new age concept but one of the principal laws of being human. Love thyself First.

Like any good scientist, I did some research and asked the powers that be (my tribe and friends) what does it take to love yourself, love? And here’s what I found out…

There are 3 central actions we must take to love ourselves more, and they are:

Know Thyself
Stay present and mindful of your needs, thoughts, and emotions. Knowing yourself will help you to make better choices that are aligned with your soul’s desire and keep you in your self-love groove. Staying present and questioning your thought especially if they are negative or unloving is an essential part of the self-love journey. Recommendation: Read Loving What Is By Katie Byron.

Self-Care Is The Building Block Of Self Love
Exercise right, eat right, sleep right, meditate and practice mindfulness. Without your health you have NOTHING so focusing on self-care is the critical component of self-love. Recommendation: Keep a self-care journal and gratitude journal. Nothing shifts the energy more than knowing what you have done to care for yourself and what you are grateful for each day.  Journaling first thing in the morning, just a few sentences, will shift your vibration and set the tone for the day.

Compassion Is The Foundation Of Loving Ourselves More
Humans tend to be extremely hard on themselves. We judge ourselves and punish ourselves for the mistakes we have made. Only when we can forgive ourselves and accept our humanness completely can we truly love ourselves. Recommendation: I love flower essences, and I’ve been taking the Compassion and Self Healing Flower essences from Lotuswei. Flower essences help us to eliminate stuck patterns and to accelerate personal growth and development. I simply adore them. It's best to take 5 drops 5 times per day.

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About the Author


Isa Herrera, MSPT, CSCS is a New York City-based holistic women’s pelvic floor specialist, author of 5 books on pelvic health, including the 2017 international best seller Female Pelvic Alchemy and the ground-breaking self-help book, Ending Female Pain, A Woman's Manual. She has dedicated her career to advancing awareness of pelvic floor conditions so that more people can find relief from this silent epidemic that affects over 30 million people in the US alone. Ms. Herrera holds a BA in Psychology and Biology from Fordham University and also a Masters in Physical Therapy from Hunter College. Click here for a complete bio.