6 Simple Ways to Transform Trauma and Fear Into Love, and Feel Calm Again

 

Let’s face it the majority of us are fried. We have fried nervous systems on overdrive 24-7, and then we wonder why we’re not happy and why every day seems like an uphill battle. We feel stuck in our lives. You might have heard people say that those who get stuck are weak. But this is just not true and there are tangible reasons for feeling “Fried”.

We wake up every day and tell ourselves today will be different. It will be better, but we do little to address the “fry” we are feeling. Most of the time the “Fry” is due to long-held traumas stored in our bodies.

What if I told you that we could do “talk therapy,” but if we don’t address our bodies, not much will happen for you? Over the years, I have found this to be true for many of the women I’ve treated.

5 Simple Ways to Transform Negativity, Trauma & Fear Into Love & Feel Calm Again 6Many of us live in disharmony because we have not addressed the emotions and traumas trapped in our bodies. So we become triggered very quickly and spiral out into stress, anxiety, and feeling unworthy or not enough. We can even become fearful for no reason only because the body is holding on to the fear, and the nervous system hasn’t been able to reset itself and is in overdrive. 

The truth is that trauma is not just in the “mind”. All trauma leaves behind a physical imprint on your body, jolting your memory and changing your brain. This is why many women have memory loss during traumatic events, but the body registers it because the traumatic event has produced physical symptoms ingrained in us.   

Your body can’t tell the difference between physical or emotional danger. This is why you have a fight, freeze, or flight response to any perceived bad event, whether emotional or physical. Your brain thinks that you are in physical danger, which is why you have the physical symptoms.  It is now believed that our cells have memories too- it’s not all in our heads- it also in our bodies.

The body is the great holder of disappointments, anger, feeling unworthy, betrayal, and the list goes on and on. Our bodies are wise, and they accumulate all our experiences, positive or negative, and store them. This concept of psychobiology is not new. 

When we feel “fried,” we don’t address the trapped emotions in our bodies because we often think they are in our minds. This dis-ease can quickly turn into chronic pain, anxiety, depression, and of course, the best one of all “there is something wrong with me.” 

Many women feel like there is something wrong with them even though their lives are “good.” They have a great family; they have great kids, successful careers, beautiful homes, and yet they feel like something is wrong with them, and something is out of sorts.

This catch-all phrase “something is wrong with me” has been handed down to us from a society that tells us women are not as worthy as men. We store this worth-less-ness in every cell of our body. We start to believe that there is something wrong with us, but it’s not us.  It’s the system, its society, and the way it treats its women. This is what I call collective trauma. A trauma handed down to us from the powers that be.

The reality is that we store every past trauma that we’ve experienced as women in our cells as well, and many times, they are stored in our pelvic floors as well.  We hold betrayal in our bodies, in our pelvis, along with 10,000 other emotions.

I believe all trauma and emotions are stored in our bodies, and no matter how much you” THINK” about it, you cannot “THINK” them out. You cannot merely talk them out either. Trust me; I have tried. I believe you need to address the body and the pelvis because it is there that everything we’ve experienced lives. 

We cannot release our feelings of unworthiness by just thinking about it.

We cannot shake off the “unhappiness” by thinking or talking about it. 

We have to address our “issues” at the physical level by calming down the nervous system. When the nervous system is calm, we can heal better and think better as well. We are not so wired.

We need to work with our bodies to move forward in our lives and release ourselves from the prisons we have been put in by society and even by our own expectations. 

When we are faced with our innermost traumas, we typically fight, flight, freeze or appease, or worse than that, we blame ourselves for things that are sometimes beyond our control. This self-blame creates shame and gets stored in our bodies as well.

If you are experiencing trauma of any kind, and sometimes the trauma is so subtle that we don’t even think it’s trauma.  Trauma can come in all forms, such as a fight with a boyfriend, a promotion you wanted but didn’t get, or an even break up with a boyfriend.  Trauma comes in all shapes and sizes, and it can be so subtle that we start to believe we don’t have any trauma because they don’t fall into the typical big traumatic experience events.

If you’ve had trauma and who hasn’t, I recommend working with someone specializing in trauma. Of course, get the help that you need. I did, and I am better for it. 

Now I’ve had my share of therapists, and everyone helped, but when I started working with my body to move trapped energies and trapped trauma, I began to feel better, calmer, and more focused. I began to feel like myself again…happy, fulfilled, and joyous.

I want to share a couple of techniques that help me release my tension and trauma and help me relax my nervous system to start healing.  

Recently I received what I believe to be the worst news of my life. This news triggered my past trauma. Trauma that I thought I had dealt with and “fix.” So I knew I had to go into my bag of tricks to move the trauma and the deep grief that I was experiencing and to calm my nervous system. 

I learned how to calm my nervous system, release the trauma, trapped emotions, and energies in my body by working with a Core Energetics therapist named Stuart Blackman. This man single–handedly helped me to come back from the dead. I will forever be grateful for his help. 

I have a deep respect for this type of therapy. Stuart taught me how to regain my tranquility and balance by releasing the trauma that had been held in my body for decades. From this experience, I share with you my top 6 trauma releasing and nervous system calming techniques. 

Shake It Out

5 Simple Ways to Transform Negativity, Trauma & Fear Into Love & Feel Calm Again 5Shaking the body helps to rest the nervous system. I also like throwing a tantrum. But we will start with shaking the body. Start by shaking your arms and then gradually continue shaking until your entire body is shaking it. I call this the shake-it-out therapy, and it works like a charm. This is a great release exercise to do when you are overwhelmed or feel like things are out of control. Shake for as long and as hard as you want to. Just be careful not to hurt yourself. 

Dance

5 Simple Ways to Transform Negativity, Trauma & Fear Into Love & Feel Calm Again 4

Dancing is an incredible way to move energy and to feel the freedom your body holds. Simply play your favorite song and dance to it freely like no one is watching you. Just let go and feel the freedom your body holds. Dance to 1-5 songs and see how your body feels afterward.

 

Tennis Racket Banging

5 Simple Ways to Transform Negativity, Trauma & Fear Into Love & Feel Calm Again 3I don’t play tennis yet. I have a tennis racket. I use my tennis racket to release my anger, rage, and any other emotion that doesn’t serve me. I also used this technique with my patients, and trust me it gets things out. Stand by your bed or a soft surface that you can hit. I use my bed. Place the racket in both your hands and over your head. As you slam the racket into the bed, verbalize whatever is bothering you. Keep saying what is bothering you as you hit the bed. Say it out loud. Take as many downward strokes as you need. This works fast and can be exhausting. 

Big Belly Breathing 

5 Simple Ways to Transform Negativity, Trauma & Fear Into Love & Feel Calm Again 7Belly breathing is my go when I am bugging out, and I feel like I might say or do something that I may regret. Place both hands on your belly and focus your attention on your belly. As you inhale through the nose, feel your belly expand into your hands and as you exhale, feel your belly flatten. Inhale for 5 seconds and exhale for 7 seconds.  Breathing through the nose produces more nitric oxide, brings more blood to the lungs, and has a calming effect. Do this for 5-10 breaths and notice how your body and mind feel afterward. 

Grounding- Earthing

5 Simple Ways to Transform Negativity, Trauma & Fear Into Love & Feel Calm Again 8Earthing, or grounding, is the practice of connecting with the energy of the earth. You see, the earth has a negative charge. And in the process of going about our daily lives, we create a positive charge. So grounding helps you to reset your nervous system and your entire body. The truth is that nature heals. Go outside barefoot and stand on grass, beach, or the dirt. You can also sit under a tree or lay on the beach or in the park. Lay down in your yard or in the garden, or at the beach. Aim for 5-10 minutes a day or longer and see how you feel afterward.

Sing, Chant, or Hum

5 Simple Ways to Transform Negativity, Trauma & Fear Into Love & Feel Calm Again 9The vagus nerve runs throughout almost your entire body, and it influences many, many bodily functions, including. When we focus on a few simple practices to stimulate this nerve, we can instantly improve our mood and stress levels. Vagal toning activates your parasympathetic nervous system — which means you’ll be able to reach a more relaxed state quickly.

Some of the quickest ways to target the vagus nerve are singing, humming, or chanting. Your vocal cords are connected to the vagus nerve, so it stimulates the vagus nerve when you use them. Give it a try, and you’ll find that your mood is instantly lifted when you sing!

When you try these techniques, you will feel a wash of relaxation pour into your mind, body, and soul. These are the kinds of things I cover in my Pelvic Wellness Community. If you need additional support to heal your body and lady parts, this is the place to be.

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