Have you noticed that our society has become one of isolation?
We can go about our days without having a meaningful conversation or connection with anyone. We tell ourselves that we are “too busy” to socialize. We move from commitment to commitment without ever truly engaging.
We scan our own groceries in the check-out lane (so we’re lucky enough not to have to converse with a cashier).
We pump gas into our car, sit behind a computer screen for hours, come home all without having a chat with a neighbor…Honestly, I know people who haven’t ever seen their parents or friends for months. Yes, I get that there’s a pandemic, but we have to do better for ourselves and find more creative ways to be less lonely.
Many of us don’t even realize we’re lonely, right? We’re always connected through those perfectly curated social media feeds we spend hours scrolling through on Instagram or Facebook. With phones firmly in our hands and heads tilted towards them, we don’t even notice what we’re missing out on.
Sometimes, our independence is praised. After all, for so long, women weren’t allowed to do things for themselves, so in many ways, being self-sufficient is viewed as a badge of honor.
But ladies, if I can get truly and completely honest with you — it’s not really the healthiest way to live.
Trust me, I love celebrating strong, independent women. But when it comes to our health, we have to remember that we are by nature communal beings. When we take away community, we deny a vital part of who we are as humans, and especially as women.
Why we all need community
Did you know that scientific research shows that social isolation and loneliness directly affect health? In study after study, researchers have drawn the conclusion that strong societal bonds point to better health. And they also show that loneliness leads to worsening symptoms of everything from depression to heart disease.
In addition, women are even more likely than men to report feelings of loneliness.
In fact, I’ve seen firsthand how having a strong group of girlfriends with similar experiences and world views can strengthen a woman’s health.
When we step out of our comfort zones and allow ourselves to truly be seen and share our struggles, suddenly the burden becomes lighter — and healing becomes within our grasp.
Here are some other reasons why I believe in the role of community in healing SO much:
Community helps us grow: When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, share, and to truly be seen by others, it’s an act of courage, according to the incomparable Brene Brown. These small acts of courage allow us to grow beyond where we were before. And with luck, we won’t be able to shrink back down to the size we were previously.
Group learning also accelerates growth exponentially. When other women bring their experiences out into the open, we suddenly realize we’re not alone. We easily have those discoveries and a-ha moments that we never would have had otherwise.
Accountability happens naturally in a group: Ever made a resolution to change a habit? Sworn to yourself time and again you’d make a healthy choice, only to find yourself promising again the next day to do it for real this time? We all have, right?
But when we declare our goals, our hopes, and our dreams to someone else — suddenly they become real. They become things we have to achieve. This is the magic of accountability. We hate letting other people down. We hate feeling embarrassed admitting we didn’t do what we said we would.
And this is where we see a direct effect on the healing process. When your sisters are rooting for you, and expecting you to love yourself enough to be true to your intentions, magic happens.
Transformations can’t happen alone: Have you ever tried figuring out a problem completely by yourself? You think and think and think and can never quite come to a resolution….then you get the courage to bring your problem to a friend, and *boom* the answer becomes clear. This is the power of community at work.
We need other women to be our mirror. To be our cheerleaders. To be our crutch when we can’t walk on our own.
How to find your tribe & be the best healthiest version of yourself
So the idea of a sisterhood of like-minded women who share your values and experiences sounds amazing to you — but you don’t already have one in place.
That’s completely OK! It’s not as hard as you may think to bring the power of community and sisterhood into your life.
Here are a few easy ways to get started today:
Call a friend or two: Actually make plans, follow-through, and meet up! Be honest with yourself…how often do you let a text message or Facebook comment replace real, intimate contact with your besties?
A night out (or in — no need to get fancy if you don’t want to!) with your girls can recharge you in a way that nothing else really can. Sharing laughter, stories, or a meal are easy and fun ways to keep those social bonds strong — and research shows that social connection is more relevant in predicting health and lifespan than even smoking, obesity, or high blood pressure.
Take a class: When was the last time you did something just for yourself? When was the last time you learned something new and felt curious? Has it been so long since you focused on yourself that you’re not even sure what you’re interested in anymore?
Believe me, I know that as women we are natural caretakers and as such, we end up with a lot on our plates. But when we are constantly helping others and not taking care of ourselves, we suffer, and so do our loved ones — you can’t fill others up from an empty cup.
So, one of the easiest ways to find other women who share your values and interests is to put some focus on yourself and take a class. There are so many opportunities through your local community to finally learn how to paint, grow a garden, or take beautiful photographs. The best part is, you don’t even have to be good at it to enjoy it! There are no grades anymore. Just show up with an open mind, and prepare to meet people who are also curious, engaged, and eager to learn the same thing you are — instant community!
Volunteer: When we serve others, not only do we help them, we create massive feelings of well-being for ourselves, too.
Volunteering can be another great way to meet like-minded women and create an impact in the world at the same time. Research causes that you are passionate about and find ways to help organizations you believe in. When you show up to help in your local community, you’ll instantly find connections with others who want to do the same.
Be The Healthiest Version Of Yourself: The loneliness and isolation are also making women sicker, more depressed, and anxious. For many women who are having bladder, pelvic or sexual issues, things are even worse. We’re experiencing problems with our love relationships, inability to focus, feeling like we are drowning in a sea of health blogs and google searches. But that stops now.
I have a special invite for you for women’s history month, and it’s FREE, and I want you to attend.
The beauty of empowerment
If we want to take control of our health, we need to stop struggling on our own and embrace the fact that we can take care of ourselves with the right guidance and community.
I believe that when women know their sacred anatomy and can care for themselves, magic happens.
Take the Next Step
Sign up for my complimentary workshops happening this weekend, March 20 and March 21 @ 1 PM EST
Discover tips and tools you won’t find anywhere else that will help you to feel whole again and in control of your pelvic, sexual, and bladder health. It’s simply your birthright to understand your divine female anatomy.
And it’s time you claimed it.
This is the same information that I’ve used to improve the lives of almost 21,000 women across the globe. It’s the information that you need to go from confused and suffering to vibrant and pain-free and symptom-free.
Before you consider having surgery or injections — please check out this free resource and tell your friends to do the same. I want every woman to have access to this life-changing information. Sign Up Here
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“A life less lonely: the state of the art in interventions to …- NCBI.” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28528389.
“Loneliness, depression and cognitive function in …- NCBI – NIH.” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27162047.
“Surprising Differences between Lonely Women and Lonely Men.” https://psychcentral.com/blog/surprising-differences-between-lonely-women-and-lonely-men/.
“Connectedness & Health: The Science of Social Connection …” http://ccare.stanford.edu/uncategorized/connectedness-health-the-science-of-social-connection-infographic/.