As women, we’re socialized to put everyone’s needs before our own, and our cups are empty. And to some extent, we like taking care of others. It’s part of our nature. It’s a mask that we wear to face the world because we are expected to self-sacrifice ourselves. We are expected to be perfect and to give ourselves away. But all too often, we take things too far. And it’s not our fault…there’s a lot to do.
Expectations are high and many times we find ourselves in the middle of a storm and from that place we give up on ourselves. It’s a painful process and a house of cards because we know we are giving it all away and yet we can’t stop. But we need to stop before we wake up and don’t even recognize ourselves.
I’ve seen this too many times. Heck, I’ve been there too.
The truth is incomes need to be made, and families need to be fed.
The personal and professional workloads for women are incredibly high. And in a society that values busyness and encourages stress — it can be super hard to break away from the norm and finally declare that we’ve had enough. Sometimes, the stress and obligations break us to the point of exhaustion, or it manifests as a breakdown in our mental or physical health.
Self-care isn’t selfish- It’s an act of activism and self-love
As much as I’m a proponent of self-care, I realize it can be a bit of a loaded term these days. Influencers and so-called gurus like to tout self-care habits that can be frankly ridiculous and almost impossible to implement. I mean, who has time for a two-hour morning routine that involves a soak in the tub, a manicure, six different types of green juices, a yoga session, plus gratitude journaling?
All of those things are awesome, by the way. But let’s be realistic. Success isn’t usually experienced in large, quick quantities. It’s built one small habit at a time. One daily act of self-care, even if it’s only for a few minutes, can add up to massive results over time. And small, regular changes are so much easier to implement and stick with than resolving to change all the things all at once. Your health and your pelvic floor healing work the same way.
When you start to put yourself first, in small ways and prioritize YOURSELF — magical things start to happen.
Let go of perfectionism- It’s okay to show up imperfectly perfect as YOU
The trap of busyness and stress is compounded by the need to feel perfect. Excellent at everything, and in need of no help. Trust me, I battle with this one myself too. It’s hard to look at social media and see the perfectly curated content of other women’s lives and not feel like you don’t quite add up. It’s even harder to remember that those ‘perfect’ shots came after 100 takes, or that they don’t even remotely represent what’s going on in that woman’s life.
Just because she’s posting like she’s happy and thriving — that doesn’t mean she actually is! But we compared ourselves to them and it leaves us feeling like we are not enough. Here’s the thing. When we let go of perfection, self-care starts to happen more naturally. When we let go and show up as us then we radiate energy that touches those around us and makes us feel like TRUE QUEENS. When we’re ready to give up that image of perfection that we have in our minds and accept that we already are enough exactly as we are, self-love follows.
And when we start to love ourselves, we naturally want to take better care of ourselves. Remember, you are enough exactly the way you are. You deserve to be healthy and happy. You are meant to live out your one and only life in a state of joy, bliss, and connection.
Where do I even start?
This, my lovely, is a great question. So many times, we’ve gotten so far away from joy, hope, and love that we don’t even know what self-care would look like for us. And it’s different for each one of us. Sometimes, self-care looks like saying “no” to an opportunity or an invitation that we don’t want to do…Instead of saying “yes” when we don’t really mean it. Other times, self-care means making hard choices about our jobs or relationships.
Often, we have to dig deep and make a concerted effort to connect with ourselves, with our gift of intuition, and actually listen to the voice within. So, to some extent, I can’t really tell you what you should implement into your day to feel cared for…but here are some of my favorite activities that make me feel empowered, energized, connected, and healthy:
- Dance salsa for 10-20 minutes daily. Dancing is my heart.
- Take a walk in the woods and I spend time in nature. The ocean is my friend.
- Hang out with a girlfriend that shares my values and understands me. Community is everything.
- Focus on JOY and pleasure every day. There is no award for self-sacrificing.
- Commit to my pelvic exercises and massage every day. One small step every day. Start by attending the V Core Secrets masterclass. This masterclass will provide you with a jumpstart into your pelvic and bladder healing journey.
- Make a new dish you want to try even if your family isn’t interested. Cooking is my passion and pleasure and it’s part of my self-care program. Good food is healing!
- Avoid social media and checking avoid all emails until 10 AM.
- Take a long bath and let go of stress.
- Meditate daily – I call them micro-meditations and will spontaneously do one even if it’s for 2 minutes
- Reading a passage in a book at night will help keep you in a positive mindset.
Ultimately, self-care is the act of putting on your oxygen mask before you help someone else. It’s choosing to be empowered and choosing yourself. Recognize that you deserve the best and that you hold the keys to your own healing. Without your health, you can’t be there for anyone else.
I’m a firm believer in having great pelvic health because nothing hurts women more than living with intimacy pain, pee leaks, pressure and NOT being able to do the things she loves! And when you’re miserable, feeling tired, and anxious about your leaky bladder, pain, or pressure— you simply can’t be the best version of yourself.
Let’s create massive success together
After healing over 15,000 women and watching with pride as they stepped into their power and took control of their health, I can say for certain that putting yourself first is the #1 secret to personal liberating success. If you’re experiencing decreased sensation, prolapse, or leaky bladder you might find it surprising that the first step you may need to take is committing to self-care…but I promise it’s the secret ingredient you didn’t even realize was missing from your healing journey.
So it’s with great pleasure that you have a ticket to a FREE live workshop with me: The “Pelvic Floor Secrets Workshop: 5 Steps to a Strong, Toned & Leak-Free Pelvic Floor… Without Pills, Gadgets or Surgeries.” Let’s work together to make the rest of this year the best year of your life. It’s time to reclaim your “Queendoms” and “Become The Heroine Of Your Own Story” and to choose self-love!